shameless meme » characters that will live on forever in your heart
♥︎ jimmy lishman
#i love jimmy don’t u challenge me on this #because with jimmy it was always for people #jimmy’s morality v fiona’s morality #and fiona is perfect (in a good way) so people always looked at jimmy and thought #what a whiner #hes so ungrateful #hes such a piece of shit #and yeah no hes far from perfect #but jimmy is most of us #jimmy is any middle class brat that wanted to live a bohemian dream #only to get shattered with the harsh realities of that dream #hes that overprivileged kid who went off on his own and missed the comfort and security of #falling back in your parents and having a never ending supply of cash #hes that guy who has real problems and issues that people fired at because they weren’t as big as other people’s #as if he wasn’t entitled to feel sad or lonely or misplaced or unloved #because there were bigger things that other people had to worry about #you know like fiona and her whole family are these expert survivors who are stronger than 90% of us #they have suffered and struggled their whole lives and continue to #press on #and jimmy is this awful guy because he was thrusted into this world that these survivors have been fighting in since birth #and it ended up being too much for him #jimmy and especially jimmy/fiona doesn’t make me mad #it makes me sad #his inability to properly navigate fiona’s world and give her the support she deserved made me sad #the fact that he was brutally murdered because of it made me sad #the fact that these two people loved each other so much but their socioeconomic differences #made it so hard for them to understand each other made me sad #the fact that jimmy thought he could be the man fiona needed but fell short in every single way made me sad #jimmy’s greatest sin was believing that he could save the girl he loved #and overestimating his own ability to be selfless
those are pearls that were his eyes. (deancas, 9x09, major spoilers, angst)
He isn’t hungry anymore. This is something he realizes when he is halfway across the state of Nebraska, in his stolen car. He hasn’t stopped for food or drink or to use the facilities in eight hours, and his stomach isn’t rumbling, doesn’t ache; there’s no pressure in his bladder or cramping in his legs, no heaviness in his head or stiffness in his shoulders. He feels these things like phantom sensations: ache and want. He knows what he ought to feel like. What he has felt like for weeks: raw like a nerve sometimes, sleepy and worn down like an old-fashioned pencil other times. He ought to feel something, but he doesn’t. There is dried blood on his collar and his skin registers the sensation of it, without complaint. It’s inconsequential. His hands go tight around the steering wheel, like they sometimes did around the handle of the mop or the base of a mug, times when he was working and his mind was elsewhere, focused on unpleasant things, unwanted thoughts. He recognized it then- and recognizes it now- as a symptom of mounting panic. One of the things humans sometimes felt when they were overcome, overwhelmed, when their thoughts swirled in uncontrollable eddies and down the side of unseen cliffs. He doesn’t understand the mechanism, now. He’s not afraid at the moment. At least, he doesn’t think he is.
What’s happened to my life? I’m just a kid from Michigan. I didn’t want to be a Word-keeper!